To say wedding planning has not been stressful would be a lie. There really is no right or wrong way to feel about wedding planning during COVID-19. Not only are we in the midst of a global pandemic, we are also experiencing a revolutionary and impactful Black Lives Matter movement.
2020 has presented some challenges for Brides. Now more than ever, Brides have to remain patient, optimistic, and flexible during the unknown. Many brides have had their weddings cancelled, postponed, or opted for a smaller ceremony with close family and friends. I am filled with joy when I see Brides find their silver lining during this pandemic. I have seen some Brides create the most beautiful and intimate weddings. Others have decided to move forward with their marriage and have a huge celebration later this year or next year. Everyone has added their special touch to find their silver lining through this stressful time.
Sadly, this is not everyone’s experience. Some Brides have been feeling stuck, super stressed, and lost. This is not easy because we do not always have the answers when others ask us about our wedding plans. In fact, we are trying to keep it together and take things day by day based upon the daily changes happening around the world. It is hard trying to balance being excited about one of the biggest moments in your life and dealing with everything that is currently happening in the world.
Please check on your Bride friends. My heart goes to all Brides during this tough time. I understand how you are feeling. We will all get through this and our wedding day will be memorable and special.
I am blessed to say I am having the wedding of my dreams. Although some of this process has been stressful and there has been a lot of unknown, I am choosing to be happy. I decided that during these last 100 days before I marry the man that I have always prayed for, that I would truly celebrate and embrace everything regarding our wedding and union where we will commit ourselves to one another. Below I discuss some tips on what I have learned during this wedding planning process.
10 Wedding Planning Tips:
- Enjoy Being Engaged!
You are engaged! Congratulations! Getting engaged is a tremendous life changing experience. After we got engaged, I knew I did not want to immediately start the planning process. My fiancé and I relished in those sweet moments celebrating our love and how far we have come. We were truly on Cloud 9. We waited about two months before officially booking anything wedding related. Trust me, once the planning begins it is a marathon. Wedding planning is a different type of beast that is time consuming and takes a lot of energy. There are numerous intricate details that go into wedding planning and to ensure that your special day runs smoothly as possible. You will be thankful for this time to do absolutely nothing lol.
- Set Your Budget
Weddings can get very expensive…. QUICKLY. Your budget is the most important component of your wedding. Make a list of your non-negotiables you truly want for your special day and stick with it. Knowing how many funds to allocate to wedding expenses (and which parts of your wedding you are willing to splurge and which parts you are willing to cut back on) will help make sure you are not spending money on frivolous things. Also, have conversations with family members about whether they plan to contribute to any wedding costs.
My fiancé and I agreed that we would not go into debt or take out loans for our wedding celebration. Honestly, it is not worth it. If we could not pay for something in cash, we were not going to do it. Additionally, marriage is about uniting two souls as one. The sacredness and intimacy of our union was more important to us than a huge party for show that would last a few hours.
Roy and I are both organized super planners (you can imagine how detailed and meticulous we are about everything). We both had a serious conversation about our overall goals, made spreadsheets, and formulated a strategy on the most successful way to plan our wedding and to avoid wasting money.
- Secure Your Wedding Planner
If it is in your budget, I strongly advise getting a quality wedding planner or at least a day of coordinator so that you do not have worry about anything on your special day. Unfortunately, all wedding planners are not created equal. Inexperienced wedding planners that provide less that stellar service can really disrupt your wedding planning process, cost your peace of mind, and sadly waste money.
A great and more experienced wedding planner comes at a cost, but it is worth the extra investment. These planners usually have less clients and can devote more time to their select couples. Wedding planners also help you to spend your money wisely, help eliminate major stress during the wedding planning process, as well as have a wealth of recommendations and vendor connections. Oftentimes, these vendors will provide a discount based on who your wedding planner is for their services. Wedding planners will also do their best to execute your vision by any means necessary. Additionally, this is the person you will be working closely with for the duration of your engagement so it is very important to find someone that you connect with, like, and trust.
Planning a wedding out of state and out of the country can be a struggle. Roy and I needed a planner that would be able to effectively and accurately execute our vision for our special day. I prayed for the type of planner that I wanted. I extensively researched the top wedding planners in the geographic area that I chose to get married and their experience with my wedding venue. After interviewing several planners, there was one that I had an immediate connection with. She was professional, super organized, experienced, shared my same values, and had an amazing personality. We talked for about 2 hours and had organic chemistry. I instantly knew that she was going to be my planner. She is the BEST and has been a lifesaver for me during this wedding planning process!
- Secure Your Venue
Securing a venue should be your next priority on the list, especially if there is a particular date or time of the year you want to get married. Usually it is best to book your venue at least nine months to a year in advance of your wedding date. Picking the venue is super exciting because this will be the exact place where you and your partner will be married and your wedding memories will be created.
If planning early enough, you will have your pick of the prime days during wedding season. The most popular months to get married are April through October. May kicks off peak wedding season. If you wait too late to book your venue, you may have to be a little more flexible regarding dates. Saturday is the prime day and the most expensive day of the week to get married. Couples can save money by having a Friday or Sunday wedding.
The below mentioned items are not an extensive list of things to think about when looking for your venue, but will give insight to some things to consider:
- If your ceremony and reception are at separate locations, what is the distance between the locations?
- If the ceremony and reception are at the same location, will the venue flip the room or is there an entirely different area where the ceremony will be held?
- What is the cancellation/refund policy? (Read the contract CAREFULLY)
- Are there hidden costs? (Again, read the contract CAREFULLY)
- What are the décor restrictions?
- Does the venue provide the liquor license?
- How much is the insurance policy to have your wedding at the venue?
- If the wedding is outdoors, what is the venue’s backup plans concerning inclement weather?
- Is there a preferred list for caterers or are outside caterers allowed?
- Whether the venue is different abilities accessible.
- What is the maximum guest capacity?
- COVID19: What safety precautions and protocols are being followed regarding the current pandemic?
- Secure Your Vendors (and THOROUGHLY Review Your Contracts)
Most wedding planners will have a preferred list of vendors for you to work with during your wedding. Although this list is not mandatory, usually these vendors have been vetted thoroughly, are reliable, and extremely professional.
When choosing vendors, check their reviews. I repeat, CHECK THOSE REVIEWS! Look for what people liked and disliked about that particular vendor. Wedding Wire and The Knot are a great starting point for reviews. You can also ask people in the area you are getting married about a vendor’s reputation to help make your decision. Also, DO NOT procrastinate on key vendors (i.e. photographer, videographer, DJ, and florist). We immediately booked our photographer and videographer first. These were important to us because these are the gatekeepers to capturing our digital wedding memories. We then secured the florist and DJ. These vendors tend to book pretty quickly. The other vendors were booked at a later time.
Choose vendors that you connect with. If a vendor does not make you feel secure that they can deliver exactly what you want; you are not excited about working with them; or they have extremely delayed communication; trust your gut and move on to the next one. There is a high chance that these things will not change.
In the age of social media, it is great to look at hashtags online. I have found some amazing talent through social media hashtags for other purposes and it works well.
Lastly, it is important to thoroughly review vendor contracts. Some things to consider are:
- How much is the deposit?
- What is the payment deadline?
- Do the photographers have autonomy with the pictures they choose to market?
- Do the vendors request a meal during the wedding?
- What is their cancellation policy?
- Do they offer transfer dates or refunds during the current pandemic?
- Are there penalties for cancellations or postponements?
- Is there a liability clause?
- Honorable mention: Get everything in writing. If there is something that you and a vendor verbally agree on, make sure to have a paper trail or written confirmation. A lot of things can get forgotten or lost in the shuffle during wedding planning.
- Do Not Wait Too Late To Set Up Hotel Room Blocks
If you have guests arriving from out of town for your wedding, they will need a place to stay. These rooms are usually reserved at a special rate for your guests. I suggest reserving room blocks at a minimum of two hotels with different price points. These hotels should be in close proximity to your venue and the airport. It is important to book room blocks early so that you are aware whether a convention, another wedding, or event is happening during the same time as your wedding. Due to COVID-19, this may not be a factor; but to be safe, it is always best to stay a step ahead. Additionally, the last thing you want is your guests staying at a cheap hotel because you did not timely reserve room blocks.
About eight months before our wedding, (with the help of my amazing planner), Roy and I reserved rooms blocks at four different quality hotels with varying price points that are close to the venue as well as the airport. We made sure to read the contract thoroughly to avoid hidden costs (attrition clause) if rooms were cancelled or left unbooked. A wise piece of advice my planner gave me was to reserve a small number of rooms (10-20) first, then add on if we needed more rooms for guests. It was important for us to reserve rooms at places where not only we would also stay, but at places where the guests will be comfortable.
- Set Healthy Boundaries
Setting wedding boundaries is important. This is YOU and YOUR PARTNER’S special day. This day should be a true reflection of exactly what you both want. Do not feel pressured to invite certain people or have certain things at your wedding because outside influences suggest that you have it. Too many opinions can feel paralyzing and confusing. This pandemic has put a lot of things into perspective. Having the right people and energy on your special day is really important. Trust your gut regarding everything. Learn the power of “NO.” being a complete sentence and without explanation.
Make time for self-care. Whether you need to meditate, have a spa day, have quiet reflection time, read a book, or work out. Do something that helps to relieve the stress. You deserve it.
- Have a Support System
I have had an amazing group of support from my family and friends who have been there for me during this entire wedding planning process. My support system has truly made a difference. It is easy to focus on the negative; that it is why it is important to surround yourself with supportive people. Unfortunately, sometimes people will show their true colors during your wedding planning process. Relationship dynamics will change and friendships may end.
Find your tribe and lean on them during those tough moments. My tribe has kept me calm and sane during high stress moments and have been my sounding board during difficult times. We also call just to check on one another and have great girl chat. I talk/FaceTime my tribe multiple times a week and they have been the best during this time.
I have also talked with many COVID-19 brides, including my line sister Ashley Echols. I am so grateful that she and I can lean on one another during this unpredictable time. We usually have weekly talks to encourage one another with our weddings and release stress. She has an amazing fashion and lifestyle blog and recently wrote a COVID-19 Bride post, that you can read here:
https://akordingtoashley.blogspot.com/2020/06/true-life.html
- Prepare For Your MARRIAGE Not Just Your Wedding
To put things in perspective, the wedding is just a day. Yes, the wedding is exciting and a beautiful day you look forward to experiencing. However, your marriage is for a lifetime. You and your spouse are making a commitment to one another before God. Premarital counseling is a wonderful resource to help with preparing for marriage. With guided, open, and direct communication, premarital counseling also helps uncover those tough subjects regarding your expectations and beliefs about marriage.
Marriage is a partnership. You and your spouse are on the same team to WIN and build your legacy together. It is a great feeling knowing that you are going to spend the rest of your life with your best friend and soulmate.
- HAVE FUN and Enjoy Every. Single. Moment!
Your wedding day is an important day that you and your partner will remember and cherish for the rest of your lives. You have every right to make this day a big deal. When you look back on this process, you want to know that you truly enjoyed the experience without regrets.
Happy Planning!!!
Be on the lookout for my blogs post fully detailing our wedding celebration from the Save the Dates to the wedding festivities leading up to our big day! I cannot wait to share these experiences with you once I am OFFICIALLY Mrs. Williams!
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Love it and you! Even though the wedding seen as the light at the end of the tunnel, it’s really just a new door opening for your new life. Brides stay encouraged, stay optimistic, read your contracts and lean on your loved ones!
Love you too! Thank you so much for reading. Yes, your are right and great advice to all the Brides!
Great Timing with this article. AMAZING READ!!! Keep up the good work. 🙂
Thank you so much for reading! xoxo